Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The day I decided to shave my hair

Hi! I know, exams are happening now and all, but I am totally slacking like a sloth (hahah what?! sloth?!) so at least I use my time to write a proper post instead of like twitting and facebooking my time away. 

So I went to church first, and no butterflies in my stomach at all, the fact that I was actually going bald in a few mere hours didn't register in my head. 



After church. Group shot with my super supportive awesome friends!! ♥


K I look super gay -_- Anyways, here a shot of the 3 of us soon to be baldies!


Then after we had a Youth Alpha session in church and I was the speaker and it was pretty good. Somehow I could feel God's presence in the room. Hope the youths felt it too hahaha

So after Youth Alpha we had normal youth and then straight to Spring. Sarah & Mun Sien didn't go to youth so I asked them to meet me at 3:45.


BUT THEY WERE LATE.


Wah I was like super pissed cause 4 o'clock and they were still not here. And my slot was at 4:15!! I was so sure I was gonna be late and that they would miss my turn and I would never get to Go Bald. So the finally came after what seemed like hours and I was super mad and didn't wanna talk to them LOL


Anyways, we reached Spring and we raced to the Go Bald place and I was late -_________- But thank God they let me and Yang follow the next group of pple. (Anson went before us) Then I saw all my friends who went there to support us :')

There was Annabelle, Ting Jin, Eugene, Amanda, Sarah, Mun Sien, Serene, Linda, Lewis, Mark, Sean, Joel, Agnes, Anson (with his bald head) Tim & Zach. Omgsh so many people. Did I miss out anyone?!




I thought I had to wait for like super long so I was still like yay and everything. Kinda nervous but not very. And then suddenly my dad was like YOUR TURN NOW. And I was seriously blur and I didn't know what was going on. Fail. 


Laughing like mad while I felt like peeing in my pants cause so nervous. 
And yang was all cool poker face HAHA


Laughing the butterflies in my stomach away.


And laughing again. Pic stolen from Linda.


This is my hairdresser she is the prettiest nicest hairdresser ever!!!!!!
I was so nervous and was about to cry
and she gave me a hug and told me I was so brave and all! :')


PUNK HAIR!! Pic stolen from Serene!


Almost done!!


Yang with his old man hair cut heheheheh


This one even worse LOL


Monk!!!! Hehe so cute!


Nelson!! :D He came later.


ALL THE BALDIES!! 


HEHE mathing hair + matching t-shirt ♥ 


Caught in the moment shot with Anges. She super supportive man! 
She even cried when my hair was being shaved off 
and called me afters to tell me that she loves me so nawwwwwwwww :') 


Farah is the best. She like totally supported me from the very start.
I honestly might not have done it without her persuasion ♥ 


So I finally met Linda for the first time along with Serene who was my kindy + pri school friend.
They are the nicest people ever. Like I don't even know them personally that well
and they went to support me!! :') touched to the max! Thanks guys!! ♥


I did it!!


Being gay.

Group shot with a few of the peeps who came and watch me!!

BALDIES AGAIN HEHEHE 


So it was a crazy amazing day and I had a really good+life changing experience. HAHA everyone was super supportive and nice to me and I am super touched. Honestly, I have no idea where I found the bravery to do it. Of course this is not an act of bravery, it's for the kids, but I mean, I must have been kinda brave to do it! LOL Truth to be told, I think God gave me the courage to do it. So all credits go to Him!!  


REALLY REALLY hope I somehow inspired people to Go Bald next year to help the children! Hope somehow I create more awareness that cancer is real and it's not happening to like 1 in a million people. Alot of people are battling cancer all over the world!!

Btw, I saw pics of Lydia going bald and she is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! Like she has so much hair and she just have it all up!!!! I prolly wouldn't have gone bald if I had as much hair as her. And I think she went herself? I wouldn't have dared to go alone! So salutes to you, Lydia! xx





Here's a video my friend shared with me a few days ago. And it's seriously heart wrenching to see this kids who love and appreciate life so much possibly losing life to cancer so soon.







They taught me to really appreciate everyday I have alive :)


Anyways, overall it was a very good experience, I dare say my perspective of life will never be the same. Can't wait to get a chance to visit the cancer children!! 








Okay last picture!!


Shot at school by Ms Lucy with Mr Alvin & Tristan as well!!






Bye! God Bless! xx

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Bald!

Hi! So I am bald! And I have the most supportive friends in the whole world seriously. They are so amazing!! :D I can't write much today because exams are tomorrow and I haven't studied yet omgsh. Anyways here's just a few pictures!


The person who was shaving my head was so nice omgsh!



Face painting :)



With Mandy!!




I really hoped the money I raised will be used to save some lives. Even one live would be more than worth it. Cancer is a sickness that cause death. So many people around the world are suffering for it. And it just breaks my heart to see children having to fight cancer so hard. I really really really hoped I made a difference in their life. Even a tiny bit will do.



Do pray for these children? :)

Friday, May 18, 2012

Quick update! + Going Bald!

Hello! So as you know exams are soon and I have not been a good student at all. I've been slacking like a sloth (er what type of comparison is that) and I have not properly studied for anything yet. And now I'm still blogging. WHAT IS THIS GAYNESS.

So life has been seriously hectic. Extremely hectic. With Oliver practises, exams next week (and I haven't started studying yet omgsh), prep for Youth Alpha, tuition, as well as my decision to..







GO BALD! 







Yes! Hahah didn't wanna publicly announce it yet, but like so many people already know (I have no idea why). So yeah, people have been asking why would I do such a crazy thing, cause it's obvious that I love my hair so much. I didn't make this super big decision on my own, I had awesome friends like Farah and Lewis who are the most supportive people ever. They were totally there for me about my decision and the even persuaded me to go LOL so thank you both of you, if you're reading this :) xx


I think the Go Bald concept is really really good, and their aim is great too!! 

It's to create awareness for the cancer children and it's a form of moral support for them and of course the obvious, raising fund for these children.


Okay, honestly I do think I'm a tad be mad for rushing into this when I'm so busy with everything, but I could possibly save a life here with the money I've raised!! I mean think about it! The money I raised could be used to give those children the live saving chemotherapy sessions they need!


People are so so generous, sponsoring me to Go Bald! :) 

Everyone (well almost) have been so super supportive and I am like so touched :') So after this me and Ting Jin are going to visit the cancer children after I come back from S'pore (yes I'm going there for the whole 2 weeks holiday!! Gay.) so I'm really looking forward to it.


Shaving my head was one of the things I wanted to do before I die. It's on the list. Something really extreme. I didn't originally intend it to be for charity, but since such an good opportunity came my way, why not? 


So I'm super excited + nervous to go bald, slightly still concious about how I would look but constantly reminding myself of the lives I can possibly save.



To learn more about the charity go check out




Okay. This is kinda irrelevant but God is so so so good. He is amazing and He has been so good to me. It's unbelievable. He really does answer my prayers :') Can't wait to share it with everyone during YouthAlpha!



Alrights. HAHA I need to stop procrastinating and start studying!!


Bye! God bless xx 


Saturday, May 12, 2012

Kill me now.

I really don't understand my parents. Like seriously. They ask so much from me. Especially my mum. Like I am never good enough for them. Do they know how that feels?! When you are not good enough for your own parents?!?!

My mum. She expects an apology every time she thinks I've done something wrong. And there is nothing wrong with that but she has never ever never apologized to me once. I actually keep count of how many times she apologizes to me. Of course little things like accidentally spilling something on me is not counted. I mean like accusing me of something I was not, when she scolds me for absolutely no reason. She has only apologized to me for that once. In my whole life. Once. I was 9 I think. NINE.

So after she scolds me, she comes into my room again and sees me sitting on the floor crying. And then she scolds me for crying. I AM SO MAD LIKE WHAT THE HECK DO I NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO CRY?!?!?! And then she asks if I'm stupid? You know what mum, maybe I am.


So so so so mad I wanted to just kill myself and make her regret everything. Oh my gosh. My mum thinks I'm stupid.


Like wtf. I am never good enough for them. Like hello, they never bother thinking about how I feel and the go on saying like HOW DO YOU THINK THIS MAKES ME FEEL?!


Well what about me? Am I not entitled to feel too? Do I not have feelings too?!??!



Fuck. I'm crying my stupid head off as I type this. I was actually planning to do something nice for my mum on Mother's day, since I haven't got her anything in ages. But I don't see the point.


I remember once when someone asked me if I loved my mother, I was hesitant to answer. WHO THE HECK IS HESITANT TO ANSWER IF SHE LOVES HER MOTHER!?!??!


I must love her deep down. But now I am just full of hatred.


I really shouldn't feel this way but I do.



I realized that I am growing to become like my mum. I get angry so easily. I'm inheriting her hot temper. And the last person I wanna be like is my mum. She is always so mad, so angry. Do you know my mum is so seldom nice to be with??? Those moments when she is nice, Omgsh once in a blue moon. I have to wait till she's happy to spend time with her!! I mean who wants to spend time with someone who is constantly mad?!

My mum is the only person in the world capable of making me cry so much.


I am crying even harder as I am typing all this. I am so so mad. So so sad.








When will I ever be good enough?!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Oliver!

Seriously I had no intention of blogging, but I'm suppose to be studying so you know, blogging seemed like a better option. I am really slacking this term. More than usual. My results are seriously gonna suck this time and I am not doing anything to prevent it. What is this.


So I know my last post was kinda wordy and I don't really have much to talk about today so here, some pictures of the 'Oliver' musical rehearsals.


The scene where Fagin is teacher Oliver how to pick pockets.
The primary school kids can sing surprisingly well.

Morgane as Nancy.

Pretty Farah as Bet.

Cute fluffy shoes as cute fluffy shoes.
Attempt to make that sound funny fail.






So yeah. This is just a short update. The Oliver rehearsals has been going fairly well, except it is extremely time consuming and tiring :'( There are like practises almost every day! Plus exams are up soon so super stress lah. 

Fine, the last line was a lie. Not really stressed out at all considering the fact that I am blogging away instead of using my precious time to study.


K bye. Really really need to study or I am gonna fail my exams.


Sunday, May 6, 2012

ALONE

I am so frustrated and so alone and so mad and I have all this emotions piled up in me and I really can't take it anymore so I thought I'd rant it all out. Hopefully I'll feel better after this. One of the things I love about blogging is that you can just write everyone out without anyone interrupting you. Love.


So. I am feeling so unwanted everywhere. Those nobody loves me I am literally forever alone cause I have no friends mood. But I know it's not true, I have an amazing God who loves me so, and awesome friends who are there for me, but for some reason I can't help but feel this way.

I am so mad. Okay. So the story goes like this. I was trying to be nice to someone trying to cheer the person up, but that person not only ignored me, the person was telling me how irritated she was by me and whatnot which is like are you serious?! So much for trying to cheer you up!


It's so annoying when you're trying to be nice and people just be rude to you. And I'm kinda mad but I'm mostly super hurt and offended like what did I do?!?


And another person, someone I am so so so so so close with I think hates me for some unknown reason. And I love the person so so much so I am super hurt and confused like I would really want a reason.


Nobody likes me.




And I just feel like crying my stupid head off.





I know I shouldn't let like two people make me feel this way but I really can't help it. It's true that you just have to feel unwanted and rejected by a few people and that can just really mess up your mood. And I wanna call my friends right now and totally rant it all out but I don't wanna make them get annoyed with me. I mean so many people think I'm annoying anyway. Oh my gosh. I am such a pathetic self-pitying loser.


I know God is the only one who can fill this emptiness and acceptance that I am seeking. I really need to spend more time with Him. I mean, He loves me more than anyone else, and here I am trying to seek acceptance from them, when there God is loving me so and I am not contented with that?! I must be mad!!!!


Writing does really make me feel better :) It helped me realized God is there for me. Well then I am feeling much better so bye!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

ICT CLASS

HI OMGSH I am in ICT now, and the aircond is so cold! Like Vince is right beside me and he's like YAY you're talking about me!

It's really awkward blogging cause everyone is standing around me, like Li Xing and Farah and Kit and well, duh, Vince. So like yeah... awkward.


SO BLOG YOU KNOW RIGHT. LIFE IS RIGHT LIKE SO LIKE *awkward everyone is commenting and reading what I'm typing*


Okay everyone left.


So. The reason I am blogging is cause I have nothing better to do and I am sitting ALONE in my row now. Everyone is like watching movies/ talking/ looking at pictures of hot girls (that's Amanda and Annabelle. Les!) on the net together and I am here alone.


Oh wait, Vince is back LOL


Anyways, my hands are so cold I can't even type properly.. gayness. I'm going through my Favorites on Twitter and all this memories come rushing to my mind :') LE HAPPY. All those good/gay times. Haih.


I am so boring. Like seriously. The things I blog about?! I think I'm my only reader.................

I like dots. They are like my new favorite thing.

Like... you.. know... sometimes.... it gets..... very.... annoying................when people.........use....dots.....ALL THE TIME LIKE DOT DOT DOT


WHAT THE DOT............




K. Reading Farah's blog with Kit and Farah. Bye!


Tuesday, May 1, 2012

TODAY WASTED

Hi! So today was unbelievably, okay fine, VERY believably unproductive. Since Astro won some Putra Award thing, I now have E! to watch. So I wasted my whole morning watching E! and like the shows aren't even that good. But there was nothing else on so..



Maybe it's cause I never had channels like E! or StarWorld or HBO so I sakai sakai go watch. Anyways, I was planning on studying in the afternoon since with the Oliver musical and all the piano classes I don't really have time to study plus exams are like coming up real soon so I REALLY like need to study. So I locked myself in my room with a whole stash of food and tried to study Science.


I even tried to write notes for the first time.



And after like 20 mins I gave up writing notes cause I just couldn't be bother. And so I spent the rest of the time scanning through my book and eating all the food I brought up.


Taylor Swift + Nerds + Cadbury = Study mood (for a while)

I totally finished the whole bar of chocolate. I am so going to have a pimply face.


Gay time with sunflower!


Okay a more decent picture of me. I'm wearing the new specs I got! :D