HATE

Is a disgusting word. And today I found out one of my friends 'hates' me. Which really hurt actually cause I don't think anyone wants to be hated. And because we're actually quite close. And I nearly was going to cry. But just before that, I was going on and on about how much I hated another person, and now that I think of it, I don't actually hate the person, I was just kinda mad for a while. So this is just to you guys, don't say stuff you don't really mean when you're mad cause you might end up unintentionally hurting someone's feeling.


Well anyway, the friend who hates me actually did a very good job at making me think the person doesn't but yeah. My hater didn't say that out of anger so that person probably does really hate me. Apparently the person hates me cause the person thinks I "have it easy?" or whatever? Well, I don't have things as easy as you think. I mean I don't have things super hard too, but I think I'm just like you, I have things normal?

Now I think about it, alot of people hate me. Great.


I don't know what to say :( feel so down now. I'm like this insanely insecure person, even though I act all chirpy all the time. I'm always afraid someone might hate me, might talk bad about me. I just always assume the worst.If I know of one person who hates me, I think a whole gang of people hate me, then I try to find something that's wrong with me and I wanna fix it. I have this urge to please everyone. I want people to like me. I try to be nice. I try to smile. I try to help people. I try. I really reallllyyyyy do. But sometimes there's just some people who just hate me. WHY?! Gah. I wish I wasn't so self cautious   -_________________________-

My devo book is on the topic of relationship now. Like friendships and stuff. I AM SO GOING TO READ IT AGAIN AND AGAIN cause I seriously need some help in the sector.


Oh and did I tell you, I'm the emcee for tomorrow's speech competition? I'm freaking out like crazy. So nervous. Brrrrrr.